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September 2002 Newsletter:
Parental Safety Reminders

Our children are our most precious resource. We love them. We want to keep them safe, away from harm, and give them enough room to develop themselves into fair and responsible adults. When we use the tool of the internet, we are not only making the world available to our children, we are making our children available to the world.

Maintaining children's safety on the internet depends on keeping what each parent considers unsuitable material away from their children. Each parent can do this by blocking the unsuitable websites with filtering software and manually blocking particular websites. Some filtering software can be told to prevent children from typing personal information such as their name, address and phone number. But, most pornographic websites require credit card information before visiting so this is really not the greatest, although an important, problem for parents.

The greatest problem for parents are the individuals children 'meet' on the internet in chatrooms, instant messaging, newsgroups and email. When our children meet new friends in the neighborhood or in school, parents have the option to meet them and their parents. You may even have witnessed a conversation and asked your child about the person - where they live, how they met, their grade, etc. This option is most likely unavailable when your child 'meets' someone new on the internet. Whether you want to monitor your child's activity - and to what extent - is for you to decide. Monitoring software is available. Monitoring software can be told to report every keystroke, every conversation, every email and every quantity in between. Do you want to listen in to each conversation your child has, read every email, or simply have your parental option of 'spot' or periodic monitoring? Our children do not have the life experiences to 'know' who has intentions of hurting or abusing them and who doesn't. If they did, we would not have missing children. Children are trusting. Children simply can trust the wrong person. The wrong person could be: the stranger looking for their lost pet; or, the internet friend who is in 'real' trouble but can't tell a parent & needs help now; or the internet friend who has the sold-out concert tickets.

Emphasize to your child - whether they are 6 or 16 - not to exchange pictures or meet in person anyone they met on the internet even if the person says it is an emergency or 'it won't take long'. Whether you trust your child or not, is not the problem. The problem is strangers gaining the trust of children. Supervise. Meet your children's internet friends. Ask them about their online activities. Let them know you worry about their safety and are not trying to interfere or violate their privacy. Remember you are responsible for the safety of your children and for any legal results of their actions. They are your responsibility. They live in your home. Children do not have the right to expect any more privacy online than they have with their daily routine. You probably would not approve your child growing a garden of marijuana in the backyard or freely associate with the pedophile living in the neighborhood. Why would you allow your child to talk to any stranger that approaches them online? You supervise their daily activities according to your family values and their age. The internet is not different. It is a tool. Personally supervise your children's online activities according to your family values.