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July 2003 Newsletter:
Kids Online (Part Two of Two)

Kids usually have an uncanny way of learning faster how to use modern gadgets than most adults. Computers and electronic devices are not different. But, most adults have more personal experience understanding and communicating with people. Chatrooms, online discussion groups, webcams, email, and instant messaging may seem daunting to some adults. These are just alternatives to using the telephone. Chatrooms are just what it sounds like – online areas where people who share interest in a topic typically type their conversation back and forth to other persons at that location in real time. Online discussion groups differ from chatrooms because the persons do not have the ability to directly interact with each other in real time. Comments are available to the group according to the rules of the website where the discussion group is located. Webcams are the real time pictures of the persons in front of the camera somewhere connected to the computer. Instant Messaging can be thought of similar to a phone beeper allowing the users to type their conversation back and forth immediately.

Here are some safety suggestions for adults and parents responsible for children who use chatrooms, webcams, and instant messaging.

1.  If the child is not old enough to be left home alone overnight without a babysitter, the child is probably not old enough to visit chatrooms, online discussion groups or use instant messaging or email without direct adult supervision.

2.  Teach respect for other persons as you do with everyday situations. In chatrooms and instant messaging, allow the other person to finish saying what they want, try not to interrupt a conversation or change the topic of discussion when you are the most recent person to enter the chatroom or discussion, and try not to use all capital letters because that indicates shouting when the other person is reading your words.

3.  Don’t include any personal information when registering chat and instant messaging programs. Select a username that is different from the username of your child’s email address.

4.  Don’t click on a link in a chatroom or an instant message.

5.  Turn off file transfer capabilities in the instant messaging and chat programs.

6.  Set the online status to where other users will not know if your child is online or not.

7.  Do not allow messages from more than one person at a time with instant messaging or display more than one conversation at a time in a chatroom.

8.  Do not allow random chat.

9.  Block all users not on your child’s buddy or contact list.

10. Don’t allow other users to automatically add your child to their contact or buddy list without your permission.

11. Do not display or make available your IP address.

12. Password protect your setting changes.

Practice with your child how to leave the chatroom or instant messaging program and disconnect from the internet if necessary should someone act inappropriately or make your child uncomfortable. Be sure your child has the opportunity to freely share their online experiences with you as they do with their everyday experiences. Pay attention to imaginary friends of younger children just in case an imaginary friend is someone they met online. With children of any age, be aware of any ‘secret’ online friendships they may have. Treat online friends as you do neighborhood friends. Teenagers know better than to meet with strangers but online flirting to a point is very normal teenage behavior just like flirting at the local mall. The danger to our children is the one time. It only takes one weak or flirting moment for the child to leave the safety of home or school and be in a potentially dangerous situation.

Online friends are different from pen pals. Online friends can sometimes see each other using a webcam. Their communication can be instantaneous instead of waiting for the next letter to arrive in the postal mail. Remind the younger children not to believe everything someone says on the internet. Even if someone says they are a policeman, fireman, or schoolteacher, do not believe them when you met them in a chatroom or through instant messaging. Teach younger children over and over again not to tell strangers their real name, address, phone number, age, where they go to school or for vacation, how much allowance they get, how many brothers and sisters they have, etc. Younger children do not yet understand the meaning of ‘Don’t tell a stranger any personal information’. A Fourteen year old will understand that some things shared by family members are secrets not to be shared with anyone else. A six year old probably will not.

Treat electronic devices as tools your child will need to complete their education and keep up with their peers. Most kids and their friends already use tech gadgets rather well. If you are not cyber-savvy, just be sure they stay safe. Apply your family values and parenting skills to tech gadgets whether you understand how they work or not. If you choose to use monitoring software, don’t forget to monitor the downloads, including music and videos. There is no substitute for parental and adult supervision in any area of your child’s life. Keeping your family safe online and in the everyday world will help keep your community, state, and country safer.

Refer to the Safety Guide for a quick review about internet safety. Keeping yourself and your family safe online and in the everyday world helps keep your neighborhood, state and country safer.

Go back to Part One